To say that the last several weeks have been challenging for me would be a gross understatement. It hasn't been all bad; I'm actually happier now than I think I've ever been in my entire life (yes, seriously). But between Mercury Retrograde, my Saturn Return, and, like, life, I may have cried my weight in tears.
I was feeling particularly vulnerable yesterday... Well... I say "vulnerable" but that's sort of a mild way of saying "hopeless." I considered my options:
1) Ignore it and hope it goes away. (SPOILER ALERT #1: This never works.)
2) Sob on my couch.
3) Sob on my bed.
4) Sob on the rug, wishing it were softer so it didn't scratch my knees.
4) Sob while dancing around my apartment in my party dress.
I added three of my favorite songs to my Spotify queue, put on my party dress (a super-duper cute dress I have only worn once; SPOILER ALERT #2: I might wear it at my solo show), and danced around my apartment. And cried, and cried, and cried. And laughed, too, mostly at how unbelievable I would find this scene in a rom-com.
(Side note: I talk to my clients and friends about dancing through your fear, but this is the first time I've tried it in the literal sense rather than just figuratively.)
Then, I changed back to my jeans and top, put on some makeup and my glittery gold flats, and talked about nothing but authenticity and expression for about 3 hours. It was beyond wonderful.
So, why am I sharing all of this with you?
First of all, I've recommitted to showing up as authentically as possible at every opportunity, even if it means being vulnerable in a space where I can't see or sense your reaction.
Secondly, because yesterday confirmed that I have found my life's great love (aka, Purpose) and it's unmuted expression. Before, we were just sort of flirting, then we were off and on again, but now we've gotten married.
What is unmuted expression? It is your full, unique, confident, and authentic expression.
For me, it shows up as writing, singing, dancing, an organized home, my morning rituals, an accent nail (or two, or three) with every manicure, treats I bake for friends. It is me fully expressed in my relationships, work, style, physical environment, schedule, budget, etc. It is me happy beyond belief.
That's all I'll say for now because you'll get more at my upcoming event, the interview I recorded yesterday (see below), and in newsletters to come, but I do want to leave you with this:
Take some time to consider how you're showing up in the world.
Are you walking, speaking, and living your truth in every moment? Are you a version of yourself from 5 years ago who feels foreign now but seems frozen in time? Would 6-year-old you be in awe of your life? Or would she look at you, puzzled and confused, wondering what went wrong?
May you recognize your unmuted expression, recommit to it, and celebrate it with a dance party of one in a party dress. (Tears optional.)