It's been about a month since you last heard from me. Did you miss me? Did you notice? (It's fine, I probably wouldn't have noticed.)
The calendar reminder to send out a newsletter for August 12th - which was also the day of my first solo show - was met in my head with a, "pshaw, yeah, okay, that's not happening." Then, before I knew it, two weeks flew by.
(The "right" thing to do in this situation is to ignore it or pretend it didn't happen because calling it out somehow makes it worse. Cuz, like, if you didn't even notice, I look like an idiot for pointing it out, right? Well... maybe. But if I'm committed to speaking my truth, my whole truth, and nothing but my truth, then I need to own it. Besides, when did I decide I was playing by the rules again? #nothappening)
Part of the reason those two weeks flew by is because things have been changing, and quickly! I bought a one-way ticket to Paris, I'm getting rid a lot of what I own, I decided these newsletters should be weekly/biweekly instead of biweekly/monthly, I restructured my business and updated my offerings, I hosted a wonderfully disastrous Google+ Hangout, I performed and everyone loved it, I have grown, grown, grown.
It sounds like a lot, right? Not gonna lie, it feels like a lot, too.
One thing that has been reflected back to me more in the last month than probably any other time in my life is that I'm incredibly brave, courageous, ballsy.
It took me a while to accept this.
Not that I don't think these things are a big deal, but I don't see how others aren't also brave, courageous, or ballsy.
Things change all. the. time. And when they do, most of us change as well. Maybe you grumble and complain, maybe you resist for a while, maybe you break down (and, hey, I do that too, see here and here), but you change. The only difference is that what we define as courage is sometimes just anticipating that change and being all, "Hey! Change! How about we agree from the get-go what's going to happen here, mmmmkay?"
A dear friend submitted an application today for something I'm launching soon (stay tuned!) and in it she posed a question I ask myself constantly: What would I do if I were not afraid?
So that's what I do. And that's what you can do too.
Remember when you watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time and you thought it was silly that the Cowardly Lion just needed a medal to prove he was courageous? I'm here to tell you that's all any of us need. My medal came in the form of a ticket to Paris two years ago. Maybe yours will be in the form of applying for a coaching program or breaking up with that person who just isn't right for you or saying yes to the job of your dreams. Whatever it is, wear that medal proudly and tell yourself every day for the rest of your life, "I'm the bomb.com, fuck what ya heard."
May you embrace change and remember you're one decision away from owning your courage.